


Shattered

by darkfire75



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M, Zombie AU, there's some fluff too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 02:19:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4122366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkfire75/pseuds/darkfire75
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He didn’t want to believe it when Bilbo told him. It wasn’t possible; it couldn’t be. They had been so careful. They had gone over safety protocols every single time they went out to gather supplies. There was just no way it was true. Even with the proof right in front of Thorin’s eyes, he didn’t want it to be true. </p><p>Prompt from a random generator: Bilbo is bitten by a zombie and Thorin is forced to put him down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I blame this entirely on the random rp generator for giving me this prompt and tickling my angst button. This fic has been haunting me for the last couple months but now I can finally post it :D

He didn’t want to believe it when Bilbo told him. It wasn’t possible; it  _couldn’t_ be. They had been so  _careful_. They had gone over safety protocols every single time they went out to gather supplies. There was just no way it was true. Even with the proof right in front of Thorin’s eyes, he didn’t _want_  it to be true. 

The bite on Bilbo’s arm was small, like a child’s. Thorin didn’t ask how it happened and to be honest, he didn’t care to know. Knowing would just make things even harder. 

Those bitten usually turned within two to three days. It had already been two days since Bilbo returned and his body was shutting down. He had gone deathly pale and his eyes were bloodshot. The area around the bite mark was leaking pus and blood that Thorin had tried to clean up. Bilbo had not been able to move much since the day before and so was now confined to the little shelter they called home.

Every time Thorin saw the bite, it was a cruel reminder that he hadn’t been strong enough to protect Bilbo. He had taken him from his home–his shelter–and for what? Some misguided notion of adventure? 

Bilbo didn’t deserve this. He had witnessed others turning before and had never hesitated on putting them down. But this was different– _Bilbo_  was different.

Thorin was staring out the window of their shelter, keeping a close watch for any Infected in the area. He appeared calm on the outside but inside he was anxious and had been worrying at his bottom lip all day. He hadn’t slept much the previous night. His worry for Bilbo kept him awake at all hours. And now with Bilbo unable to move, he couldn’t help with the lookout like he usually would.

He was in denial, he supposed. He wanted to play Bilbo’s bite off as something he picked up from an animal outside. He wanted to believe that Bilbo would get better. 

“Thorin,” Bilbo croaked from his corner of the room. Thorin turned to look at him. “Thorin, I’m going to turn soon…”

He shook his head furiously. “No,” he said. He grabbed a pan from the counter and dunked it into their meager water supply by the door before walking over and kneeling in front of Bilbo. He carefully lifted it to Bilbo’s lips. “Come on. Drink up.”

Bilbo gave him a pitiful look but accepted the water anyway. He clenched his eyes shut and took deep, rattling breaths. Thorin stood back up and just as he was walking away, Bilbo opened his mouth once more.

“You need to put me down.”

Thorin suddenly dropped the pan to the floor, the clattering sound echoing loud around them and for a moment he feared Infected would hear it and come running. His anger overrode his worry however and he clenched his fists at his side. “I will do no such thing,” he growled.

“Thorin,  _please_.”

He turned his head and saw tears in Bilbo’s eyes. It had to be a cruel joke. Asking him to kill him…there was no way he could do that. Bilbo was…Bilbo was his light. He was his  _everything_. 

“I can’t,” he said, his voice breaking. He walked back over to Bilbo and took him into his arms. He felt tears falling onto his shoulder and clung to Bilbo even tighter.

“I don’t want to kill you,” Bilbo whispered. 

“I’ll be fine.”

“Thorin, I’ll tear you  _apart_. You’ve seen it happen. I don’t—”

“Shh. Just…” Thorin pulled back and looked into Bilbo’s watery eyes and tried to smile, bringing a hand up to stroke his cheek. “You’ll be fine. You’re strong, I know you can beat this.” 

_I can’t lose you._

Bilbo shook his head. “Thorin, no, please, I’m not immune.”

Thorin kissed his forehead and stood back up. “It’ll be dark soon. I’ll find you something to eat. You need to keep your strength up.”

* * *

 

_“Who are you?!”_

_The person holding him up was much shorter than he was and it seemed almost laughable that he was the one in charge. He was pudgy around the middle and had curly honey-colored hair and a button nose. Under normal circumstances, Thorin would call him cute but the glare he was giving him was anything but._

_Thorin had his hands up defensively after dropping his traveling pack to the ground. “My name is Thorin,” he said. “Please, I’ve got nothing that you’d want. I just need a place to stay for the night and then I’ll be on my way.”_

_The other man narrowed his eyes and pressed the barrel of the gun against Thorin’s chest. “How do I know you’re not infected?” he growled._

_“You’re welcome to check.”_

_His eyebrows rose suddenly but he nodded and moved closer, forcibly turning Thorin around and lifting up his shirt and pants to see if he had any bite marks. Thorin felt a bit self conscious, but he couldn’t really blame the man for being careful._

_“You’re clean,” the man mumbled and lowered his gun. “Sorry about that. Have to be careful, you know?”_

_“I understand.” Thorin picked up his pack from the ground._

_“Follow me.” He started leading Thorin down an alleyway before taking a left into a small cramped building. “This place isn’t much, but it’s been my home for the last couple months. I’ve been gathering supplies often so you’re welcome to take what you need.”_

_Thorin nodded gratefully at him. “Thank you…uh…”_

_“Bilbo,” he replied. “Just call me Bilbo.”_

_The smaller man walked towards a pile of supplies, grabbing a couple cans of beans. He used a fork to open them and handed one to Thorin who accepted it graciously. He hadn’t had a decent meal in weeks. Mostly he’d just been hunting various animals in the woods, so it was nice to have something other than rabbit for once._

_“So,” Bilbo said as he sat down across from him, “tell me about yourself. Where are you from? Any family?”_

_Thorin swallowed a mouthful of beans before staring back at him. “There’s not much to know,” he shrugged. “Parents dead. Siblings dead. Lost my nephews two months back.”_

_“Lost…?”_

_“They turned. I had to—” He trailed off, closing his eyes as he remembered the unrecognizable faces of his two beloved nephews before they converged on him._

_“I’m sorry,” Bilbo mumbled. “My parents…well, my father became infected and when the military found out they executed him right in front of my mother and I.” He frowned, stirring his spoon in the can idly. “Mother never really recovered from that.”_

_Thorin nodded solemnly before running a hand through his hair. “It’s a fucking mess out there.”_

_“Is it? I haven’t left this town in two years. It’s kept me safe.”_

_“There’s more and more Infected as the days go by. The military is useless. The people I did run into on the road are saying the government is working on a cure but they’ve been saying that since this fucking thing started.”_

_“Kind of glad I’ve been holed up here then. Haven’t had to worry about any Infected at all. You’re the first person I’ve seen in a long time.”_

_“I was lost,” Thorin chuckled. “I was actually looking for someone else but, uh, hey, beggars can’t be choosers, right?”_

_Bilbo smiled. “Well, I’m glad for the company.”_

* * *

 

That night, Thorin curled up beside Bilbo and held him close, resting his head against Bilbo’s chest. He could hear Bilbo’s heartbeat, but it was getting fainter as the hours wore on. The thought that Bilbo might not  _be_  Bilbo in a few hours scared him. They had been traveling together for almost a year now, slowly forming a friendship and falling in love along the way. Thorin counted his blessings every single day that Bilbo was in his life. 

But now those moments together were going to end. He thought he wouldn’t mind Bilbo turning him if it meant that they could still be together. Bilbo would probably call him morbid if he voiced this though, so he kept that dark thought to himself. 

“What do you think it’s like?” Bilbo said softly, his voice breaking the silence. 

“Huh?”

“Turning. I wonder what it feels like.”

Thorin swallowed a hard lump in his throat. “Don’t know. Never thought to ask an infected person.”

“Ha.” Bilbo looked up at the ceiling. “I hope it’s quick. I don’t…I don’t do well with pain, you know.”

Thorin said nothing.

“I love you, Thorin…” He could see tears falling down Bilbo’s face now and he reached up to wipe them away. “I love you so much,” Bilbo continued. “And I’m sorry. I’m  _so_  sorry I let this happen…”

“It’s not your fault,” Thorin mumbled. 

“It is though! I made a dumb mistake and now I’m paying for it.”

Thorin sat up and looked deep into Bilbo’s watery eyes. “Hey. Stop that. This past year has been the greatest year of my life.” He leaned in and kissed him gently, rubbing his thumb across Bilbo’s cheek. “I wouldn’t trade my time with you for anything, okay? Don’t sell yourself short.”

Bilbo’s lower lip trembled as he tried to smile at him. “If it weren’t for you, I’d still be holed up in that sorry excuse for a shelter,” he said. “You helped me brave the outside, Thorin.”

He smiled wryly and pressed another kiss to Bilbo’s lips. 

“You helped yourself. I had nothing to do with it.”

“Now who’s selling themselves short?”

They laughed together and Thorin felt that for a moment everything was going to be okay. He clasped Bilbo’s hand tight in his own and held it to the left side of his chest. Bilbo’s breath hitched when he felt his heartbeat and a fresh batch of tears sprung into his eyes though he tried to blink them away. 

“I’m scared,” he choked out.

Thorin swallowed hard and hugged him closer. A single tear fell down his cheek and into Bilbo’s soft curls. 

_I am too._

* * *

 

_“Go with you?” Bilbo repeated, eyebrows raising into his hairline._

_Thorin nodded. “Yeah. Why not? I mean, I know we only just met but I’m sure you’re sick to death of this town by now.”_

_“You’ve got to be out of your mind. I can’t just…pack up and leave.”_

_“I get that you’re scared but—”_

_“Get out.”_

_Thorin’s eyes widened. “Bilbo…”_

_“I said get out!”_

_He shoved at him and Thorin stumbled a little before sighing heavily and hoisting his supply pack higher on his shoulder. “If you change your mind, I’ll be heading south.”_

_He waved to Bilbo before taking off, occasionally turning his head to see if the smaller man might change his mind and follow after him. But Bilbo was already back inside his little shelter when he looked back the third time, so he took a resigned sigh and carried on his way._

_Then he heard shouting. Thorin stopped walking and turned around just in time to see Bilbo running towards him carrying an overstuffed pack over his shoulder. By the time he stopped in front of Thorin, he was red-faced and out of breath._

_Thorin stared down at him in shock. “Change your mind?”_

_“I can’t stay in that place forever,” he panted. “And besides,” he added with a grin, “your company wasn’t all bad.”  
_

_"Oh really?”_

_“You stink a little but I can forgive that since I can’t imagine you get a chance to bathe much on the road.”  
_

_Thorin laughed–his first actual laugh since he’d lost his nephews–and he smiled as he motioned for Bilbo to start following him._

_“You’ll start to get your own stink in due time.”  
_

_“I can hardly wait.”  
_

_“I try to travel mostly during the day since Infected aren’t as active. But you know how to shoot if we encounter any, right?”  
_

_“Er…”  
_

_Thorin raised an eyebrow. “You **can**  use a gun?”_

_“Not really,” he mumbled. “I mean, I’ve never really had to. My mother was going to teach me before she–well.”_

_He cleared his throat uncomfortably and Thorin sighed.  
_

_“Guess that’s one thing on the to-do list besides finding a decent water source.”  
_

_“Sorry if I’m an inconvenience…”  
_

_“No,” Thorin said. “I’m glad you’re with me.” He smiled at him and Bilbo’s eyes widened. “It gets lonely traveling alone.”  
_

_“Oh. Well, uh, I promise I won’t let you down then!”  
_

_He laughed again and clasped a hand on Bilbo’s shoulder, giving it a little squeeze as they walked. “I look forward to getting to know you better.”_

_“You might not like me as much once you get to know me.”_

_“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”  
_

_Bilbo returned his smile, and Thorin noticed the flush on his cheeks and the way his eyes lit up. Thorin’s own face felt heated and he quickly turned to face the road, a warm tingle running up his spine._

* * *

 

The next morning, Thorin awoke to find Bilbo in some sort of catatonic state. He wasn’t moving and when he checked for a pulse, it was very faint. Thorin carefully got to his feet and walked to the other side of the room to grab something for them to eat when a shuffling sound alerted him. He quickly turned just in time to see Bilbo getting to his feet behind him. 

Thorin was frozen in fear. 

Every one of his instincts was telling him to run. That was not Bilbo anymore. Bilbo was looking at him, or at least trying to. His eyes were red and leaking blood and pus. 

“Bilbo…?” He knew it was fruitless, but he didn’t want to believe it was happening. Not now, not when they still had so much to see and do together.

Bilbo slowly took a step closer and Thorin backed away. Then, without warning, Bilbo lunged forward with an inhuman shriek and Thorin grabbed the nearest thing he could–his rifle–to stop the attack. Bilbo was ravenous, snarling and snapping his teeth at Thorin as though he were a wild animal. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Thorin gasped. Bilbo pushed him against the wall and Thorin hissed in pain as he fought to keep the rifle in place. 

Teeth came dangerously close to his neck then and Thorin knew he had to throw him off. He used all of his strength to overpower the smaller man and managed to throw him to the ground. He pressed the rifle against Bilbo’s throat, digging his knee into Bilbo’s stomach, and stared down at him as he thrashed and growled. 

“Bilbo, it’s me!” he cried desperately. He swore again and pushed himself off of him. He scrambled to go get his handgun as Bilbo leaped to his feet and started running towards him. Just as he was turning around, Bilbo dug his teeth into Thorin’s shoulder. Thorin screamed in pain and felt himself starting to panic. 

He raised his gun to Bilbo’s chest, pressing the barrel against it as Bilbo bit into his flesh even harder. 

“Forgive me,” he whispered. 

He hit the trigger and the gun went off. Bilbo made a whimpering sort of sound and fell backwards onto the floor. He was immobilized but he wasn’t dead. Thorin stood over him, the hand holding his gun shaking uncontrollably. 

“Bilbo…I…”

Bilbo was looking up at him with unseeing eyes, mouth still snarling and snapping. Thorin aimed the gun at Bilbo’s head. He felt tears stinging at his eyes but he furiously wiped them away with his arm.

“Fuck… _fuck_ …I can’t do this.” 

He knew he had limited time. Bilbo had bitten him so he was most likely infected with the virus now too. He glanced at his shoulder and felt himself get sick at the sight of it. He took a deep breath and glanced back down at the other man before lowering his arm. 

“Do you remember the first time I told you I loved you?” he said softly. “You didn’t believe me at all. You…You said I was being an ass. But then we kissed and…and…” He choked out a sob. “Do you remember, Bilbo?”

Bilbo was still snarling on the floor, unable to comprehend the words being spoken to him, and Thorin aimed the gun again, turning his head away as fresh tears began falling down his face. 

He closed his eyes and slowly pressed the trigger. 

The shot that rang out was deafening. Thorin took a shaky breath and looked down, seeing Bilbo’s motionless body and the gunshot between his eyes. It took several long minutes for him to register what had happened. 

They had been talking about their future just days before. Bilbo had said he wanted to see the mountains in the east. Thorin had promised they’d go and that he’d show Bilbo everything the world had to offer. 

And now–

He covered his mouth with his hand and let out a scream, falling to his knees in front of Bilbo. He reached for him with shaky hands and pulled the smaller man into his arms, holding him against his chest and rocking him back and forth. 

“I’m sorry,” he gasped. “I love you, I’m so sorry…”

He wished Bilbo would wake up; would smile at him like before and kiss his nose and let out that silly little giggle he made when he was happy…

Thorin didn’t care that he was openly sobbing now. He didn’t care if Infected heard him. What did it matter now? His heart felt like it was being ripped apart again and again with the pain with only one thought resonating through his brain–

Bilbo was  _dead_.

He looked down at the gun in his hand and knew what he had to do. He slowly raised it to his own head and opened his mouth to let the barrel inside. The metal was warm against his tongue. He inhaled through his nose and clutched at Bilbo’s motionless body. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered and shut his eyes tight before pulling the trigger.


End file.
